Wednesday 1 November 2017

Comfortable Disturbance


I see your contempt
In fact I feel it
Not for long
I'll grant you..

And the pain
Of your 
Disdain
Is just 
One note
In cacophony  
Of agony
That I conduct
Daily

Yours is telling
But inconsequential
Dwarfed when 
Reflected against 
The magnitude
Of self-hatred
That shadows me

Through my eyes
That are dead 
To you
I see 
More than 
You imagine
Through 
Fleeting windows
I feel 
The pain 
You 
Won't acknowledge
It is unbearable 
We both
"Manage it" 
In our own 
Way

Though 
I have long
Since 
Given up 
Judging yours

No 
I actually 
Don't need to
"Just get a job.."
How, pray tell
Is your career path
Dealing with your
Visa balance?

I'm 
An inconvenient truth
While 
Providing 
A convenient scapegoat

Represent & reflect
Those 
Areas of your life
That are spiralling 
Outside of your 
Control
Your pain 
Is immense
And 
Shame & secrecy
Run deep

But by all means
Keep it at bay
While you can
Though 
Sleep with 
One eye open
You are 
But one breath
Ahead

For my part
I can 
Only allow myself
To care
But a moment
Before 
The pain 
Beckons oblivion

I am
Your 
Addiction...

R. O'Neill (November 01, 2017)



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