Friday 26 August 2016

The Punk That Once Drove a Subaru

So that it is apparent straight away - the "Punk," would be yours truly! I mean no self-deprecation (nor offence to any that might actually consider themselves "Punk.") I did have a brief dalliance with "Punk Music" in my mid-teens, or was that last week? No but seriously folks, I knew a couple of guys that happened to be brothers (uh.. that would be, siblings) that somehow established a line on "import punk rock music - which wasn't available locally to any large extent. I didn't go so far as to scrounge the aisles of Home Depot or Capital Iron, looking for hardware to adorn my clothing or face (come to think of it - there was no Home Depot here either). So though this would I reckon; have fallen squarely during the time of life, when one was searching for or declaring their "identity; at the time, (or was that last week?) the music had a certain appealing resonance, which provided an "anthem" for at least some of that angst, of our youths. But I never did transform my outward appearance accordingly, nor ever attended a, or found myself in, a "mosh pit." I'm sure there were people slamming each other somewhere - it just didn't call to me.

Other associations for the term "punk" are: "a worthless person;" an unexperienced young person, novice;" seems to me we used the word at some point in time, to denote a person of smaller stature.

I suppose shades of all those description, may have been used as descriptors for me, at one time or another. All of that aside; the title came to me as inspiration often does, when I'm not thinking about it. I may have been contemplating the various transitions/transformations in my life and needing a title that captured the socio-economic "bracket" I have frequented: punk rhymed with "Monk" which would lend to a parody of Success/personal development coach Robin Sharma's widely successful book: "The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari." Any similarity to his book  would only come as a result of our sharing residence in the same species. I sincerely hope that my intention to parody/parallel his work - to tell my own story and generally stating right out front; the "mimicry"is not meant in anyway to duplicate or dismiss his contributions. I hope now that this takes any concern about plagiarism/copyright infringements off the table. I should also say, that the opinions, experiences and musings are in no way shape or form to be associated or assumed to have been derived from, or through Robin Sharma. I am responsible for the whole enchilada!

There now, hopefully that covers my ass. For a further distinction, Robin Sharma would be the fellow that professionally coaches, writes, leads seminars etc. for "captains of industry, high level athletes etc. I'm the guy that pays to drink coffee in the local outlets, under the watchful eye of the baristas (shouldn't that guy be working or something?) in order to write a blog for free.

Before I go any further, (insert shameless plug) should anyone want me to write for them or with them; with the promise (or even prospect of being paid for it) let it be known across the known and unknown universe, that I am willing to release and let go, of my amateur writing status.

Now then, what the hell was the point here? Right punks and Subarus. I actually did own and drive a Subaru (three of them in fact) so I think I can speak of that; without incurring difficulty for invoking a corporate moniker in my post; that I'm sure lacks the necessary thrust, to reach to the ivory towers of Subaru Canada.

I guess it has been just short of two years since I drove my own car (or any car - with the exception of some random driving of someone else's car, that I vaguely remember, but that's all I recall). It is just two days shy of my birthday which delineates the date two years ago that my car came off the road (as the insurance would have been due for renewal). Around about a year and a half later (over which time it sat in my building's underground parking)  I sold it to an auto salvager for $3000.00. That in itself was a "reality" check - the year/make/model etc. pegged it a "worth" closer to $9000.00; however, as it had sat and not been run for quite sometime the mechanical issues that were discovered  by a potential purchaser were likely a direct result. The total estimate for repairs was over $4000.00 which I neither had at the time, nor would have been willing to pay to attempt to yield a higher sale price.

The revision to my lifestyle was significant; while at the same time, it was in keeping with the theme of simplification that is attractive to me and has incrementally been a driving force for quite  sometime. "Alternate" transportation became the norm. Destinations that were further a field (which I at one time; would have thought nothing about driving to - sometimes just to "escape") were no longer on my radar. I found that I neither missed time spent "getting somewhere" and developed a heightened capacity to be content where ever I was.

The restoration of a consistent income proved to take longer than I anticipated so the elimination of the expense of running a car was helpful.

Other experiences that impacted me over my "punk/monk phase" were such things as "poverty" (sans vow of) supplementing my food intake through street kitchens and food banks and collecting "social assistance."

Of course "poverty" is a relative term - mine was a "first world" version; that saw me still housed and with resources like "assistance," and food banks etc. available.

I'm not proud (per se) of going on "the dole," neither do I feel shame about it. A work return case manager "encouraged" me to consider it as a means of off-setting my monthly expenses. She said, "that is exactly what it's for; to help you through this crisis segment of your life and until you can restore your income flow." I am proud, that I did just that; which now gives me both the experience of having been on the "system" and getting myself back off of it. I am living breathing proof that can be done. It most certainly was preferable to putting all my monthly expenses on credit cards.

It was certainly humbling to find myself in these different environments and it gave cause for me to really consider the matter of personal finances. I learned a great deal about prioritizing; what was "needed" and what I could do without. I had various items go by the wayside over this period of time and in some cases they were simply not replaced. Conversely a laptop broke down and I opted to obtain a new one on credit; as it is a tool of my craft (or at least the craft I aspire to develop). That same tool can also be a portal to a black hole of avoidance and time wasting; so my discipline muscles continue to be honed, while I learn to strike a balance.

I pushed myself out into the world more frequently to "busk" which opened me to endless opportunity to grow as a person. This was a case of necessity being the mother of invention - as I stepped outside (my box) to reinvent myself. Maybe I would have taken the steps to busk anyway; but as it was, I used the opportunity to creatively do what I could, with what I had, at that time. Despite all the positive attributes for myself of making this move; it most certainly doesn't mean that others will embrace the innovation and courage. Many look upon such activities with disdain. As such, it is a further opportunity to free oneself from the views of others. I did what I did because I loved it and worked toward letting go; of the need to have anyone, "approve" of what I was doing.

Even getting the social assistance up and running, was an exercise that revealed to me different aspects of my inner landscape. On those occasions when I needed to present at the office I was generally the only one reading and certainly the only guy reading, "spiritual books." I both wanted to make good use of the wait times and keep a positive mindset; in what is an example of a labyrinth of "red tape." This is exactly the kind of environment that can test my patience! Despite the many anecdotes that I heard from individuals that told me of the infinite aggravation the "ministry" doled out (pun intended) - my file was always processed with "grace and ease." I absolutely know this is to do with the energy I held. For sure you can encounter those behind the counter that present like "automatons;" but I also watched those that told me that the "ministry" is always out to "screw them" only to have their number called and then proceed to tear strips of the person that is serving them (literally the "hand that feeds them"). I saw my victim mirrored for me - I saw doors open, and "problems" smoothed out; people going out of their way to help me; all facilitated by the approach. That is some powerful shit!

I stood in a food line one day and talked to the women behind me. She was telling me all the different ways she had come up with to prepare different dishes using potatoes as the base. (due to there always being an abundance of potatoes in the "hampers.") I suggested that she write a book. I acknowledged her creativity and said there are probably countless people out there that would love to just open a book and have a new idea, rather than create it for themselves. She wasn't convinced - being not confident in her ability to write, or that her "recipes"would be that popular.

I was frequently awed at the resourcefulness, creativity, sheer genius, courage, tenacity, care and compassion; of the various people I met in these circles. A true testimonial to the human spirit.

I run the risk of making this post far too long if I itemize all that I have learned in this portion of my life. I can say for sure of my experience and what I learned from the experience and stories of others is that contrary to outward appearances; one can most certainly be learning, growing and evolving. At any given time the "circumstances" of ones life is just a snapshot - a moment in time.

I saw in some of these venues, people that modelled more of the attributes that are considered part of spiritual maturity, than in other circles where people parade about in their "Sunday best." Of course I also saw people acting out their pain. Of course you could see similar in board rooms, business circles etc. No particular socio-economic status assures  the monopoly on "enlightenment."

Life is full of transitions. Some small and easily taken in stride; others that are more a kin to complete  "rebirth." Most certainly not a linear process and the completion of a relatively small chapter might be one of many beginnings on a weave a far larger metamorphosis.

The "beginnings" have no end and the end, is not with more beginnings. It matters not what your mode of transportation - so might just as well, enjoy the ride.



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