Mine is not to Question.... No wait, Turns out it Is!

I write frequently, mentioning the idea of "expansion." I most certainly read a lot about it, so perhaps the concentration of the notion upon my consciousness; has me suppose, that it infiltrates my every breath, step and deed. What is it then that I am referring to? Why all this fuss about "stretching envelopes", embracing the unknown etc.? I certainly can have a hand; play an active part, in the pursuit of "growth producing endeavours. " Can I play a passive part? Or can I thwart these processes entirely? Does expansion seek me even, while I'm consciously or unconsciously, exercising  my best efforts, to avoid it?

If you're now expecting the answers, expect to be disappointed. Might I suggest you do what you need to with that disappointment and consider the questions for yourself?

I used to be "an answer guy." To be honest, until I realized it for myself, some part of me, thought I had to have the answer; or I was on the fast-track to annihilation.  Another misguided belief was that if I could provide the solution - I would be of "value," gain approval; which I suppose ultimately, was still about avoiding the "annihilation" of being a social outcast. Overall I'd have to say it was an ineffective strategy to achieve connection, love and approval (particularly when that which I sought was never outside myself in the first place). For one thing, for the most part, people don't want the answer (they want you to "agree" with them).

 I believe I have overcome my impulse to give unsolicited answers. But even when I am asked, and provide the answer; I've found that often, it is not received graciously. I have considered and continue to ponder my delivery. I don't have to take responsibility for the responses of others - but I don't have to hit them over the head with the answer either. It's a prospect fraught with the potential for the conversation to go off the rails. If the answer I provide is not the answer that was wanted - the fuse has just been lit.

Of course this line of discussion of mine suggests that I have been "conditioned" to massage the feelings/reactions of others by considering what "they want to hear" rather than just authentically, be "straight up." So some aspects of "expansion" for me involve at least stepping outside my conditioning and eventually overcoming it altogether.

“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones” - John Lennon

I consider this quote and to me it certainly has merit. I wonder how much "honesty" any given "friendship" can stand? I'm clear about the pitfalls of "white lies," political correctness, emotional care taking, people-pleasing etc. I suppose I'm not at all sure, that ongoing relating, can occur stripped of all this conditioning and subterfuge.

Again it comes to, concern for being "alone." There it is - I'll put that on the table,  so at least I can acknowledge that for myself, while "expanding" authenticity.

To me, there is no virtue in Solitude. Many an asset and virtue can certainly be honed in solitude. Is this conjecture? No. I have experienced, vast quantities of solitude.

 It seems to be widely held that "we" (humans) are "social" beings. It is deeply imprinted within the psyche "the need to survive" the importance of inclusion "in the tribe." I wonder if truth; the ability to  speak it and the ability to hear it, have been "socialized" into oblivion? This survival instinct while perhaps vitally important to ones humanness, matters not to that eternal part of ourselves. There can be no "annihilation" of the soul; therefore, the "social dance" of humanity, might be "seen" by the spiritual part of our being, as not weighted with the same importance? 

Is then, the continued urge to "expand" driven from the soul? Regardless of my attempts to "serve and protect" the status quo? Does the soul even care if I engage directly in it's expansion? ("in my lifetime"). Presumably "it" will carry on long after "I'm" gone? Does this then "suggest" that I might live toward "getting myself gone," sooner than later and thereby, enjoying a more direct experience that is in alignment with my soul? Maybe then "the right friends" John Lennon referred to will be  "soul aligned" as well?

For me the beautiful thing about solitude is hmm... THE SOLITUDE!

It seems to me, I'd be "better"(at least it for me)  in "relation" with those around me, when I know without a doubt - I don't "need them," to be okay. There is a great deal of expansion I can experience into what I would say, is my unique expression of what is common for all. When I am happy and content in my experience of that, and know that no one can give it to me, or take it away; nobody needs to be my answer and I don't have to be, or provide anyone else's answer. What would it be like to form relationships more from a place of choice, rather than looking to assuage and feed, the "hungry ghost?" (Yours or mine)

So for now I will play, at becoming, the "question guy."

I seems everyone (myself included) would prefer to determine their own answer. It might well be, that it must be so! Perhaps beyond "facts and figures" - "the answer" cannot be provided. What the hell is a "fact" anyway? And God bless the "figures" people, that's not my realm!

I can acknowledge for myself that I am of above average intelligence - so I certainly don't relish "playing dumb." Alternatively, perhaps I can continue to develop my capacity to formulate better questions?

I DON'T KNOW - WHAT DO YOU THINK?