Today was a day off from my "day job" (which actually takes place either days or evenings) in a few different "health care" environments.) I'm reasonably sure that I will take a pass on the "grave yard shifts." Over the past year since I resumed this form of work, I have been able to meet my financial needs without succumbing to "nights" and I would prefer to keep it that way. Of course as of recently I have a whole new objective financially; which is to meet my immediate needs over the next four months and put enough away to be able to go to Belfast (and see some of the rest of Northern Ireland) in September this year. I'm going to say I'm looking at a stay of two to four weeks and see what unfolds from there.
I could have possibly worked this a.m. however I didn't "bid" on the shift because the pay period that I'm now working toward, is two and a half weeks away - I have plenty of time to book shifts for then; therefore for the next two days, I will focus on making some "cash in hand" because I know this coming Friday's cheque, will not be as big a usual. I took some time out to attend a workshop circle which is deeply meaningful to me; so of course, the days I was present there, I wasn't working. I had also sold a guitar which helped defray some of the registration fees and provided me with a small reserve to help offset the time not working. The time in the circle and connecting with various people that remain around town afterward is priceless and though of course overall, my vision is financial ease and sustainability; I also know that I won't lament not spending more time "working." I highly value the connections and life experiences far beyond "just earning a buck." Ongoing - I seek some sort of middle road as the experiences I seek do require ongoing financial resources.
The beautiful Spring (almost Summer like) weather we've been graced with lately continued today so that was conducive to hitting the town to go play some music via what I coin, my "street ministry" gig.
It is my aim to "entertain," uplift, even inspire. It seems to me I have the best potential to do that through an offering that I personally have passion for and that brings me joy. Hopefully that "natural" exuberance comes through the playing and singing. I know I can't reach or satisfy everyone - some folks just don't want to be reached and others aren't going to be into what I do. That's all cool! I have been graced with first hand reflections that what I do is appreciated and does reach some. One women stopped to listen; she stayed through three songs. We chatted after I finished the last song and as she was "tipping" me she said "you are the only busker that I actually stop and listen to." I believe her to be sincere, she certainly doesn't have to stop there's no barricade on the sidewalk and besides, it's my parade! Today at another performance location, a senior gentlemen came by with his walker; I was playing some upbeat song and he started dancing down the sidewalk, stopped threw two dollars in my case and kept right on dancing! (that's so awesome!) I thanked him for his contribution - both financial and the spontaneous improv dancing and he replied "thank you - and just so ya know, those weren't my best moves."
I am using this "ministry" to serve Spirit. I want to get "out of the way" for Spirit to move through me and I want to reach the Spirit in others. I can feel the energy of that when it's flowing - I can feel it go flat at times. It's all a work in progress and I don't know if I'll ever "know" all the factors that create the variables - I just keep (as often as I remember, putting it back in God's hands - so to speak; not be of a mind that "God" has hands) I suppose one could say, I am being the musical hands of God) which creates occasional openings, to connect with people in different ways, while I'm doing it.
All kinds of conversations ensue - sometimes about "guitars" I'm not really a specs and stats kinda guy; but I know a little - enough to engage and then I have the savvy, that allows me to prompt the other person to talk about their guitar, or their music story etc. One conversation began with a fellow at the bus stop while I was waiting to go across town to another performance spot. Turned out we were catching the same bus so the chat continued. He wanted to know if I played any "open tunings" I responded, that so far, I haven't ventured down that path. "Oh you should check it out - try "drop D" to start with." "Well I've dropped my guitar a few times, does that count?" I know of the form he is referring to, but I truly haven't tried it, a little humour encourages the discussion and now he get's to be the "expert."
I'm no virtuoso musician or singer (I happened across a post online of a couple young guys jacking around in some Walmart, it was on YouTube called "Walmart rockstar;" on a toy guitar this guy was cranking out Stevie Ray Vauhan's "Pride and Joy" made me question what I'm doing for a moment). I know I have a powerful voice and I'm playing with it all the time when I'm out there; what better place to "experiment" where there are some people paying attention some not. I've probably never sung the same song exactly the same way. I guess in that respect, the fact I have never recorded allows me to escape anyone's observation that I didn't do it like the recording. I'm guessing my playing is undergoing some refinement, certainly I mess around with various strumming patterns and rhythms - but I haven't spent any focused time taking on any different styles or techniques presently; so perhaps the only "real" variation will be my "energetic exploration."
I have been doing this "street performing" to varying degrees and expanding regularity over a period of three years now. I am inspired to play on the streets in Belfast (and wherever opportunities present when I'm there) could be that my "apprenticing" these past years has been in preparation for just this purpose. I'm certainly not going to revolutionize music in Ireland! I have however had the experience of performing overseas once already. It was in Spoleto Italy, I had been there for a yoga retreat (which is comical in itself - picture my being a "yogi" being much like the Tin Man was pre-Dorothy providing him with some lubrication) anyway it was a thrilling experience and it certainly made real for me the connections that are possible through music. One doesn't need to be a big name or big talent if my experience is anything to go on - I'm was just an out of town bloke that had picked up a cheap guitar to amuse myself with and the next thing you know, I'm on stage at the Music Festival.
For me who happens to have a naturally "inquiring mind" coming to know more and more, that perhaps literally nothing, is what it seems and that unknown opportunities, lie in wait within all experiences; is not my go to "mindset," however, I am relaxing into it more and more.
So music is part of my "known" means to get to Belfast and I have designs on it playing (pun intended) a further role once I get there. Beyond that I'm "practicing" letting go of the need to know or that I know, what else will present as part of this adventure.
I don't know that I'll ever make a "big splash" through music, of course if I went back far enough I never would have imagined having had the experiences through music and continuing to do so, that I am now. I consider it more like a bridge, an arrow in the quiver of mine that could be a means to "disarm" and connect to others. It certainly seems more people approach me on the streets both while I play and just carrying the guitar around - it's a bit like the walking a dog thing - maybe one presents as more approachable when seen in this light. Having said that I suppose it is understated, in that I have met angry buskers, and angry people, walking angry dogs.
Anyway I hope what I'm doing serves something bigger than myself or leads me in that direction. Appreciation and encouragement feel good for sure - but just as happy no one has thrown anything at me; well except a bird did "bless" me, my song sheets and guitar case once. I think that was more a consequence of my tendency to seek the shade of a tree whenever possible (I couldn't really care less about my "whiteness" - however, I really don't like being roasted red, like a succulent pig on the spit) or maybe it was some feedback on my performance or perhaps my attitude at that particular moment; could have been taking the whole thing too seriously.
Today at my earlier morning performance, just up the road there is an excavation in progress for a new condo tower. I suppose they have hit bedrock as they are now proceeding with "blasting." There was a couple pretty good explosions while I was doing my thing. I thought to myself, here I am in city that is relatively safe. Here, an explosion represents the construction of a new building to house more people not the strategic destruction or collateral damage or worlds at war. It's a beautiful sunny morning and I am "free" to sing in the streets. Meanwhile in far too many other places in the world explosions represent "terrorist attacks" and drone strikes, "skirmishes" military offensives, preemptive attacks, counter attacks, insurgencies, coups, uprisings, oppressions, genocides, sieges.....
For the love of God - Enough!
Lord Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace.....
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