"I once was blind, but now I see" - John Newton (1725 - 1807) which you might recognize as a line from the poem/hymn "Amazing Grace." I am more interested in the "seeing" reference as a focal point, however, I consider it necessary to also address the orientation of the song's author (no doubt reflective of the consciousness at the time) but which certainly is by no means unheard of all these many years later.
He suggests that the scope of this "grace" is - "Amazing" which I'm not debating. However, he draws that conclusion in relative terms, based on his self assessment as that of a "wretch." What I hold to be true is indeed grace is amazing, in that it is not necessary to "earn it," "deserve it," "do anything" for it, well except maybe, to be open to receiving it and divested in what that might look like. I don't believe in a God/Creator that has a required criteria for people in order to avail themselves to this grace, everyone is eligible equally. Further to this if I hold a view of myself as a "wretch" (and I have - though I likely wouldn't have used that term specifically) knowingly or more likely unknowingly, I will deny myself the access to an ever-present grace, believing myself to be unworthy or undeserving. Never the truth, but the end result can be the same - free will allows me to hold to mistaken beliefs and consequently live them as though they were true. This as it happens - certainly in my case, reveals quite an complex weave of self-deception that I can blame on "bad luck," "bad karma," "no opportunities," being singled out by a "cruel world," culminating with being "forsaken by God itself." You might notice implicit in all these perspectives, conspicuous by its absence, is any reference to myself having anything to do with the "creation" of this "graceless life" and of course completely ignores the many ways it has continued to be present in my life, even when I've been doing my utmost to deny it.
Having presented that personal perspective I now feel I have created the context within which to elaborate on this business of being "blind" and subsequent "sight or seeing." I suppose it bears mentioning this represents a perspective, "as I see it." - pun intended. Support it, adopt it, dispute it - it matters not - I will not return to a viewpoint that features me as a "wretch." In part I don't think it's possible even if I wanted to and if it were, I can't imagine why on earth (or in heaven's name) I'd want to. That in itself could be said to be an altered vision.
Are we speaking about eyesight here - it's possible, I've recently come to learn of a fellow by the name of Jacques Lusseyran - who lost his eyesight as the result of an accident when he was eight years old - which created for him the "opportunity" to rely more exclusively on faculties of inner knowing, perception (seeing) that he was aware of prior to becoming "blind" but perhaps never would have been developed to the same extent had he remained "sighted."He went on to become a integral part of the French resistance during the occupation of France during the Second World War. His movements and activities were ignored as he was "seen" as "blind" and no particular "threat." This remained the case until the group he was operating within was exposed by an infiltrator and they were arrested and placed in a Nazi death camp where he remained until liberated by allied troops, he being one of the few that survived. I was immediately inspired by this story and can hardly wait to read his autobiography which will soon be in my hands.
Immediately this story points at the reality that there are more ways to see, than meets the eye. Due to the orientation and in effect worship of the mind/intellect in the western world, collectively perhaps we could be deemed seeing "impaired." Granted there is a growing awareness/acceptance of perception beyond the five senses - or at least I seem to think so, but it could reflect an interest/bias of my own.
What other ways then can one be described as being "blind?" Certainly the field of psychology offers the identification of numerous "defense mechanisms" that come into play to help an individual avoid the pain of various truth concerning themselves. Certainly I have come to know through a path of "personal growth" and spirituality a seemingly endless laundry list about myself. Grace then, can be seen as that power/presence that reveals the previously unseen - an unfolding act of divine love. It has been said both that "truth hurts" and that it will set you free. It seems to me that the truth itself is not at all painful - in fact rather benign. It is my judgment and self-condemnation that are painful! Coming to know that does offer me freedom from the continuous cycle of discovery and self-admonishment. To be able to see further into myself is ultimately a gift - it offers me the opportunity to "see" what I am doing (or not) recognize that it no longer serves and becomes part of the process of releasing and healing those patterns completely.
Attempts to moralize unconsciousness or a lack of seeing, serves nothing or no one. It is judgment and further shame that I try to avoid in the first place - ultimately that from myself. But it is also true that there is an innate desire for love and approval in us as humans, which can become unbalanced. It is this avoidance of further pain that can be behind a profound reluctance to face the truth. You cannot bring about a positive change in behaviour through shame and punishment. Shame begets the pain of more shame. Of course I have to be accountable for my behaviour, but I'm suggesting that if I am able to respond with love (as in be responsible) it will lead to an entirely different outcome than continued punishment.
I am suggesting this business of seeing myself (or another) which might well then be a projection of further unconsciousness as a "wretch," is an extremely limiting "self-fulfilling prophecy." One cannot see beyond the walls of the city of wretchedness! I cannot dream, aspire or hope to attain anything but wretchedness through the eyes of a wretch. So then even if someone is incarcerated as a consequence of their actions it would be wise to do so in an environment that fostered self-love. Otherwise the individual when released will be physically free, but still imprisoned within the walls of their own self-contempt.
As this post is not intended to be exhaustive in nature I certainly don't claim to be able to cover the full scope of expanded seeing, if for no other reason than, I can't present in this moment, beyond the existence of my own continued "blind spots."
I do want to at least touch upon the "eyes of the heart" which I'm sure could be a topic without end. Not by any means a ground-breaking expose I'm embarking on here - though having said that, it is of sorts, when brought home to my own life. It seems to me if I can make sweeping generalizations for the moment, that religious/spiritual paths of the Eastern world have known and maintained the significance of, a heart-centered life. Here in the west much has been said about the heart but it's largely been an intellectual abstraction (which in and of itself is a contradiction). The heart then has been seen at best as the center of sentimentality and emotion and relegated a back seat to the mind/intellect or even seen as a hindrance to clear "rational-thinking" and thereby completely dismissed and devalued.
This is particularly true of men, although certainly by no means exclusive to only one gender. As we are all influenced by the cultural milieu. If a cross-sectional group of mixed gender were taken and it were presumed the women present, are more advanced (conversant, aware, expressive) emotionally, it is just as possible, that if asked, they might indicate they wish men were more "emotionally available" but due to the a fore mentioned cultural influence, these same individuals might have no idea how to hold space for their partner if he "broke down" and had a good old cry. Suffice to say that a broad spectrum exists for all facets of the human condition - the more this can be "seen" and accepted the more differences could be over-looked in order to realize and deepen connection.
The thing about the heart is it has been seriously undersold! If universal intelligence, love, grace, God etc. is though of as a frequency, then the heart is the satellite dish. A finely individually tuned center with its own "intelligence." To cut myself off from this so very vital part of my being and ignore it's guidance, yearning, and direction throughout life, might be likened to having a series of food allergies with severe reactions and just going ahead and eating these food types anyway.
One need look for evidence no further than their own personal life or those around them if verification is required. Of those that live their lives in accordance to the tyrant "I should" or giving up on dreams and doing what is "realistic," how content are they/you? Of course there are practicalities - following the heart doesn't preclude the need for food, clothing and shelter. But resignation around the need to suffer and be miserable would be the spawn of the same consciousness that would have me or you believe we are "wretched." Of course following your heart alone won't necessarily yield your own "rags to riches" story. My personal story if observed strictly from the surface might be said to be more the reverse, i.e. riches to rags. This first off, a gross misrepresentation of what is true for me within. Through the eyes of my heart I can see far more in far less. I don't place judgement on either as being better or worse. But if less is seen as more, then it might well quell an otherwise insatiable appetite. If I look upon my self as being enough, unconditional love, the love of the divine, to and through my heart and toward me, I can assure you my orientation toward the world changes. These changes are currently and continually unfolding so I don't even know what's in store. It means I don't have to do anything more, buy anything more, go anywhere else, lose weight, gain muscle, grow more hair, get in/out of a relationship or get a "better job" in order to be ok! I could do any or all of that stuff, but it would be a conscious choice to do so, still knowing, none of it makes any difference to who I am.
This begins to illustrate why it is that I won't align myself any longer with systems that continually cast me in a negative light (of course in order to do so I would have to believe it is so) and then all my wounds and neurosis are ripe for the picking. I'm the perfect consumer, not to mention wage slave as I would then continue to look outside myself to ease this pain and needless to say, in our consumer economy there is no end of consumables.
"I was blind and now I (am beginning) see." Not a moment too soon!!!
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