Thursday 31 October 2013

Lend Me Your Hands

"Oh yeah I'll tell you something,
I think you'll understand,
Then I'll say that something,
I want to hold your hand."

Lennon & McCartney wrote those seemingly simple words 50 years ago - my question all these years later, is why aren't more people holding hands?
I have been considering the nuances of that most basic, but powerful means of communication and connection.

So much can be said through what it seems, is a near forgotten means of human interaction (without anyone uttering a word). I am mystified by the power of one hand held by another (strength, connection, tenderness, support, healing, leading, yielding, surrender, reaching out, giving, receiving, humility, caring, compassion) all conveyed through this simple act.

What can be said of the act of holding hands? Well to begin with it can't be done alone. It seems to me it is a most profound reminder of our common humanity. It just plain feels so good! Have you ever really stopped to realize the power, the privilege, the pleasure of one hand in another? Maybe if more people considered it more often, they might be remiss to let go. The surety, softness, certainty, sensuality, love, acceptance, compassion, reassurance that is possible from one hand to another.

Imagine politicians in a circle holding hands during "debates" - business deals done while holding hands, couples, families and neighbors discussing their "differences" while holding hands - the same with international negotiations - is it possible hearts might remain engaged more completely during these interactions, if hands were connected throughout? How could talks break down to animosity, self-interest or other forms of violence and abuse if hands remained connected?

In a day and age when media of all forms clouds the minds of the masses with imagery of explicit sexuality(so often confused with "love") one could get the impression that hand-holding is lost with the innocence of a childhood long forgotten. It might be considered naive of me to uphold what might be seen by some as a childhood act.

If one were to consider what's at stake when the hand they once held - is no longer there to hold (even intermittently) then becoming present to the longing, the mental gymnastics employed in an attempt to conjure the image of the last time those two hands met: recalling the warmth, the pleasure, the immediacy, the true significance might become more apparent. If it were nothing - it would mean nothing when it was gone. That in it's absence, it's presence is so alive, it becomes apparent that perhaps it should be given more importance and reverence.

Hands, effective implements of love or war. Is it that much more difficult to reach out a hand in love and support than it is to raise a fist in anger? Why can it seem as though love is in such short supply? If the idea can be embraced that I individually, am a microcosm of humanity, then I can offer a perspective than could be expanded. My experience is that love is not at all a finite energy - it is in fact infinite. I on the other hand have often been the hairball in the pipe (not a flattering analogy I'll grant you, but I mean myself no harm - simply a metaphor for the greater good). There is a direct correlation between my willingness to express love and my experience of it. (In fact it's probably more accurately, exponential but as I can't express that in exact terms, I'll let stand, the direct relationship). My stinginess, fear, unwillingness to express love in various circumstances in my life all contributed to the perception of a lack of love in my life and correspondingly a reduction of love expressed in the world. If my personal analogy was considered over the billions of people on the planet, a significant shift in the expression of love (one way or the other) could be experienced.

Of the myriad of ways to express love it could be said "hands down" hands are a most versatile tool for doing just that.  There is too much divisiveness, to hold hands reminds me of our interconnectedness (that at the end of my hand is you - what I do affects more than just me). Lend a hand, give a pat on the back, if a hand is out - at least shake it (a moment of love and acknowledgement might go a very long way). There is too much separateness - I believe we have been given this physical form at least in part, to get beyond our physicality, to where we all connect. One pathway is through one hand in another.

Perhaps through writing or music or painting or gardening or cooking the hands can be expressing love. Many are quick to dismiss the lyrics penned by the "Beatles" as being too simplistic - surely our complex human issues require equal complex solutions? Then again maybe just as simply as hand fits glove - "love is all we need!"

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