Saturday 25 May 2013

There's No Place Like Home

Given the amount of time that have resided upon planet earth - 53 years so far (which of course only accounts for this current go around, for those that embrace the ideas of reincarnation) I am open to the views and experiences of those on this path - though I tend to lean to this being the one physical manifestation - the opportunity for the spiritual being to have the human experience and evolve through the various attendant lessons here on this galactic campus of ours. Continued development then takes place on alternative planes of existence where the physical body is no longer required. I consider that past lives might be recalled as a result of soul or cellular "memory" that contains the imprinting of ancestral lives, experiences, wisdom etc. rather than "I" myself have lived these lives and have subsequent lives waiting in a cue for me to assume when this one is over. This is by no means meant to represent the definitive paradigm - when I consider such matters (which seems to occupy many of my waking hours) this seems to make some sense to me (which is an absurdity in itself) what makes me think the "mystery" or even a portion thereof, will be explained by an answer that makes "sense" to me? My view on the matter may not stand up to the scrutiny or cross examination of someone more learned (which of course doesn't mean they have it all wrapped up either) perhaps they just have a far more complex explanation for that which defies explanation - but that continues to unfold regardless. My current postulation on an aspect of existence could be nothing more than my lack of willingness to embrace the alternative, that there is this unfathomably immense, infinitely unfolding, creation story that I for this moment in time, have some vague awareness of, and to consider I have no understanding of it and my part in it, strikes terror in my heart, so if I can give some plausible explanation that offers some measure of comfort (if to no one else but me - I'd be happy to share it with others, I just can't guarantee the longevity of it's effectiveness) then I don't have to ponder the weight of my insignificance in the grander scheme of things - then should any thoughts creep in around my hybrid theology, I can always go for coffee and avoid the perceived pending annihilation). Perhaps this speaks to the power of the "oral traditions" the consciousness and cultures that lived from them, with them and within them. Consider the time I have taken and the verbiage involved to essentially say "I don't know" - "I'm part of it" - and "though I'm in it" "I don't know what it is" or "where it's going" or even "if it's going the way it's supposed to - "don't know for how long I'll participate" or "if I'll be back." Maybe those from these ancient "primitive" cultures were so busy being consciousness - they didn't need to spend fruitless hours doing, in order to try and make being, meaningful - it just was. Then someone spoke up around the fire and said - holy shit (it was after all, a sacred gathering) - what you said there that was so good we should write it down!" There was great confusion and commotion around the fire - and a collective question rang out - "what the hell are you talking about?" "What does write it down mean? and "why would we do such a thing?" 
"To preserve the wisdom - it would contain the explanation."
"The explanation to what?"
"To life - to being - what to do next!"
"But the knowing - with regard to being, is alive in the moment, future generations have always learned how to be - while being, this is the truth of being."
"Well..... I've been thinking..." (they should have at that moment run him out of the village or bludgeoned him with his stone tablets) or perhaps this was part of the "intended" unfolding of humanity - I can't help but wonder if had it been otherwise - would I be now sitting in a coffee shop, with a laptop, trying to give shape and meaning to being? I could just send out notice of a new blog "post" and when you open it there before you is a blank page for you to to do with as you please. When someone asks "what are you doing?" You could reply - "I'm describing being."
"Does it need description?" "Aren't you already being - without doing, anything?"
"Well yes, but, I need to validate my reason for being - by doing!"
"But didn't we already determine that your being, is a given?" You can't "be more" by doing - you already are!"

"Holy shit that was good - we should write that down!"

Right then, where was I - oh yes, 53 years I've resided in this body therefore one might presume I am fairly well acquainted with said body. Alas, not necessarily true! Oh sure there have been periods of time where I have been more aware of it - because of the symptoms of some virus I have hosted or through some physical injury (which in many cases was brought on by lack of awareness of body signals or attempts to communicate with "me" and therefore placing excessive demands upon it.

Given the proximity wouldn't intimacy be a given? After all, no matter where my address has been - no matter where I have been on the planet - this body of mine has been "home." Just the same I have come to realize on an increasing basis that my own "home" is an unfamiliar neighbourhood. In hindsight I spent so much time in my head - the body was largely treated as the vehicle designated to transport, make nourishment possible, provide blood supply and oxygenate the brain. (Of course there does exist a synergy of systems that collectively sustain physical life - this is a "cooperative" not a monarchy or oligarchy) which is how I lived it.

I have heard references to the body as being "the temple" of the soul (and even if your viewpoint doesn't consider the existence of a soul) one could reason that as the one and only body - an air of reverence for the sanctity and sacredness wouldn't be overstating it's significance. Admittedly, the metaphor was lost on me - my body could be aptly deemed "the temple" (of doom).

Even when I began to be more "health and wellness"aware - I fell into extremes and bought into the "no pain no gain" school of thinking. Now - unquestionably any new physical activity, even with moderation - introduces challenges during the undertaking and may result in some stiffness afterward. That has come to mean to me that there needs to be some balance between pushing the envelope physically and rest/recovery. More is not necessarily better and too much is counter productive.

Granted there is much more information available currently as a result of a great deal more research with respect to "exercise physiology." This is useful (though at times confusing because of the sheer volume and conflicting perspectives) this is where wisdom that stems from ancient practices introduces (in my case) or has asserted, since the days of "oral tradition" that if one tunes into the body the answer is there - further to that wonder upon wonders - the information is very specific for each individual body.

My current "body awareness" has been given a breath of fresh air through a recent opportunity to participate in a early morning Kundalini Yoga class. I'm talking 5:30 a.m. start so the first epiphany was "Holy Shit" (after all this is a sacred under-taking) there are people engaging their bodies in activity beyond rolling over, round about the time the sun is rising. Speaking of which, what an amazing time to actually be experiencing some variation of being (albeit while "doing" my utmost, to keep the car on the road while witnessing sunrises, the urban migration patterns of deer as they visit their favourite neighborhood salad bars and just generally appreciating the locale, before the heartbeat of the city is stirred into a frenzy by the defibrillator of collective alarm clocks.

I can recall some early experiences with "movement" focused activities - instructions such as "just be aware of where your body is in space." My first thought was - "what the hell are you talking about?""I can see that I am taking up my share of "the space" (maybe more given my coordination - truly there probably should have been some tape lines around me - because after I managed to "assume the position" following the direction of the instructor - imagine a variation on the old party game "Twister" "weight evenly distributed on both feet, front knee 90 degrees not beyond the toes, pelvis level -it's a bucket of water don't let any water spill, shoulders down and relaxed, chest extended, head and neck relaxed and in alignment over the spine as though being suspended by a cord from the ceiling" and breath"

"Breath!!" The cord from the ceiling is around my neck and it's only a matter of time before this pose and me from within it, implodes - give me space - I'm going down and there's bound to be collateral damage if you get too close!!"

Then there was the (to me) oblique cue, to breath into (let's say) hips/buttock/low back and place your awareness in your feet." I'm thinking - "I've got news for you - I breath into my lungs - at this moment I'm aware that I'm standing on my feet"- I take this on faith, because I can't actually see them right now but what I perceive to be the ceiling is still above me." "However another alignment cue may well upset the delicate balance and then my awareness will be in my butt as it lands upon the floor!"

"As for the suggestion that I check in with my body and invite some further spaciousness and perhaps ask that any tension be released - the answer would seem to be a resounding NO!"
"I did ask - even visualized the whole thing taking form - my body tuned into the visualization and said "forget about it." "You think that after all these years during which time, you have mastered Lazy-Boy- asana you're going to waltz into a yoga studio and badda-bing, badda boom you're like - Gumby?"

Anyway as I was saying there has been a new practice that has become available to me recently - "the student must have been ready - because the teacher indeed appeared." Of course there has been much water under the bridge since the initial yoga experiences previously described (not that it has involved exclusively and consistently only yoga). In fact I apparently needed to spend the time I did - trying to reap gain from pain - not fully understanding that if I continually place excessive demands on my body there will be consequences. So rather than "listen to my body" my mind took on the role of fitness tyrant and though becoming trained and certified to coach others lessened my incidence of injury, the way in which I related to my body wasn't really all that respectful, though the excesses were done under the guise of "wellness."

So though only 5 days into this new practice I have to say - it's life changing! No I'm not exaggerating, whether this is a long term practice or not, the fact that I am up and in the car for a 15 min. drive and on the mat for 5:30 a.m. has forever changed my orientation to what is possible. Even if the practice is short-lived I can never deny I have what it takes to make this happen. Of course the different time frame is creating the need of an adaptation period. (The first couple days by 10:00 a.m. it felt like I'd put in a full day). But even only five days in, I can feel a shift occurring and the practice (plus frequent follow up walk in the woods) is energetically and spiritually up-lifting. I am already feeling within my own being this is good for me (and I don't mean like "knowing I should eat more green stuff because it would be good for me) this is - I now, through various processes have an increased capacity for body awareness and my body is saying - "yes, this is a very good thing."

Movement - nothing short of a miracle! When one considers the various elements working in harmony to achieve this, it is mind-boggling. Perhaps it starts with a thought, then there are opposing muscle groups simultaneously lengthening and shortening, as microscopic fibers expand and contract asserting a force on the long bones of the skeleton which through the connection of ligaments hinge at the joint articulations - all which is innervated by a volley of nerve impulses to trigger the contractions. The eyes gathering visual information - the middle ear houses a mechanism that contributes to balance. Proprioceptors (specialized nerve receptors, sense changes in the slope and contour as well as the consistency of the surface being walked on providing information that the body needs in order to stabilize itself. Digestion and metabolic processes take the food we eat combining it with the oxygen we breath to create fuel to power all the processes (including the flow of the blood which is circulated by the heart throughout the body which includes the lungs where it picks up life giving oxygen and releases waste products through exhalation). Stand up, sit down, push, pull, reach, run, walk, climb, dance, hug, caress, make love, make war, comfort, kick, throw, jump, swim, write, sing, paint, sculpt, dig, chop, build, destroy, fight - all made possible through the bodies seemingly endless potential for movement (though without awareness and consciously applied consistent activation, the freedom of movement can begin to deteriorate). Not everyone needs the range of motion of a cirque de soleil performer, however the limitations that are often presumed to be a "natural consequence of the aging process" are more about lifestyle patterning. Chairs, cars, mind-sets such as "act your age" all contribute to one moving their body through ever decreasing planes of movement until literally the ability to do so is lost.

 Fortunately this doesn't necessarily have to be permanent - through reactivation flexibility, strength, range of motion and coordination can be restored. The key is a moderate approach utilizing qualities such as patience, perseverance,  consistency (which can run contrary to the "instant gratification" dictums that are fostered in our modern world). This is where the development of more acutely attuned body awareness is made possible - as with patience and attention the language and communication of one's own body begins to become apparent. Subtle cues and improvements can be appreciated but only with a willingness to develop the sensitivity and ability to "listen."

At this stage my ability to be conversant with my body is probably a kin to the period of my life when I was learning to read through Phonetic training and the epic adventures of "Jane seeing Spot run."Just the same it's a beginning! I find it exciting to realize I don't know everything there is to know about myself and my body. If this is true, imagine what that means to any given person in my life with whom I relate - there is always something new to discover about them too - we could go about discovering newly of each other endlessly - what a gift!

When I arrived at the coffee shop there were no seats inside, so this look at movement was inspired while I was sitting at one of the sidewalk tables enjoying the sunshine. I looked up from the book I was reading as a women walked past and to coin an old metaphor it was "poetry in motion." There it was embodied for the witnessing, the miracle of motion, grace, poise and symmetry. The gentle sway of the hips and rhythmic rocking of the pelvis, fluidity and energy in motion held fast between the stabilizing forces of the spine and legs and feet rooted step by step upon mother earth. Ah but there's more, the sensuality of the moment was joined by an awareness of my own heart beat and life energy coursing through my body and a breeze stirring the nearby trees in motion. Branches sway and leaves singing all vibrating in harmony and unison. I am "moved" by the splendour of it all!

All is not as it seems - life is so much more than "meets the eye." To an observer, they may have concluded I was sitting idly by at a side walk cafe staring aimlessly into space - when in fact I was participating and witnessing the sublime orchestration of the creation symphony in "see sharp" in infinite movements.

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