Thursday, 19 April 2018

Heart's Evolution

Will today 
Truly be 
My day?
To be sure
I awaken
To a day
Replete with
 Infinite potential

Have waged
A war
A life time
My very
Hinged on
My signature
The reach
Of mortality

My effort
To remain
One step
Of being
By an 
 Irreverent conformity 
Terminal uniqueness
The fabric of
Compassion & connection
That which
I feared 
The most
Collateral damage
Became inconsequential
Vastly less important
Than "survival"
Sheer will-power
For so long
Wielded defensively
Near becoming
My undoing
Redirected to
No longer
Waging war

I belong 
To my heart
My heart
To the world

A heart centred 
Provides meaning
That moment to moment
Expresses the soul
While honouring others
It calls
For attentive listening
And inspired action
But "against" no one.

R. O'Neill (April 19, 2018)

Tuesday, 10 April 2018

A Moment for the Dance

By an 
Unseen song

First a gentle sway
To & fro
To follow,
An alluring
Tempo acceleration
Rhythmic undulation
A uniform gyration
Come hither

I'm captivated
By the 
Visual symmetry
A lower lip
Set to quiver
I swallow hard
Vision softens
Eyes brimming 
With a 
Flood of delight
I'm swept away

Inner experience
External display
Become one
Life force energy
Pulses ecstatically
Corporeal confinement

A breath caught short
While a heart expands
Beyond four chambers
To embrace infinity
Such splendour
Tantalizing & mesmerizing 
In equal portions

Emerald fields 
Of Spring's resurrection
My deep appreciation 
For the dance.

R. O'Neill (April 10th, 2018)

Thursday, 29 March 2018

Can I Have Your Attention Please?

Will you allow
The stillness
To engulf
The abstract din
Of your familiarity
That which even now
Renders your presence
An unconscious two-step

A more penetrating 
Between the breaths
Your heart
Whispers to you
A sweet refrain
From a part of
You've yet to meet

Step boldly
Beyond the horizon
Of your 
Cast aside
The clouds
Of resignation
Make ready
To welcome
The dawning zenith
Of your
Realized potential

Your heart knows
Far more 
Than your eyes
Can see
Just beyond 
Who you have
Thought yourself
To be
Is that
Which you 
Truly are!

Will you then 
Leave unanswered
The knock 
On the door
To yourself?

Have been
Kept waiting
A very long time!

R.O'Neill (March 29, 2018)

Tuesday, 27 March 2018


I shudder with recognition
To realize that
The life-long trail 
Of abandonment & betrayal
To my own address
The "smoking gun"
With a mosaic
Of my fingerprints.

Rolling away 
The stone
That entombed my heart
A long seized gateway
Is swung open
To reveal
The garden

While kneeling
To pray
I wonder
Just how often 
Have I forsaken?
Whom has been left
To vanquish alone?
Their prayer request
Falling upon 
The deaf ears
Of my indifference 
And self-concern
How deep has
the betrayal run?

How complete its taint?
No alibi nor rationalization
Regardless of the sophistication
Of its composure
Absolves my compliance
Nor separates me
From the rabble

In terms of person acquaintance 
I have met none
That have "missed the mark"
Greater than I.

No confession nor indictment
The key to freedom
Extricated by the sword of Truth

My condemnation
Cannot hold a candle
To the forgiveness rendered
Nor the magnitude 
Of its Source

Grateful, humbled &
Eager to serve

The roaming Prodigal son
 Love, Forgiveness, God (Father/Mother)
Far closer to home
Than ever before


R. O'Neill (March 27, 2018)

Thursday, 22 March 2018

Spring's Fling

In a region
Of a country
With a citizenry
For whom
Threatens to tip 
The scale
To the realms 
Of pathology
And protracted winters
Are the Norm
As only she can
Lines the lane ways
With explosions
Bubble gum hued
Popcorn blossoms
Then seen
Rhythmically waving
To all passersby
The wind-song Aria 
From our diva
The Salish sea
That embraces
Our wee 

There are those 
That would presume
To count them

I prefer to 
Drink them in
Express my 
Profound appreciation
To their Creator
And my good fortune
To witness
Equinox's pageantry

R. O'Neill (March 22, 2018)

Number Please (come in)

Far be it from me to push the river! By this I mean, later this year (which means currently, I'm moving toward) I will mark my 59th year on the planet. This assumes sometime between now and then it hasn't been pre-ordained, that it's time for me, to "break on through.." I'm not much of a "mathematician" ( I did a short stint in "Adult Education" post high school, many years ago, just to prove to myself, if I really wanted to, I could "do math.." - beyond a certain point, I didn't want to continue ... as I proved my point, and there was no further point)..... still I do find a certain allure to numbers, sometimes. So then, this year would delineate my 59th year, as one born in '59.

What is the significance of this? Damned if I know! Maybe nothing more than I find it personally satisfying. I don't actually need another reason. However, if one were to consider that when I was approaching 28yrs. of age (which would occur on August "28th") I had pre-meditated my forced exit - so in fact I was fully prepared to "push the river..." in the form of suicide.

Clearly that I am now sitting here "penning" this missive, it can be concluded, I wasn't successful with that particular vision. This gives rise to another number - 31. As in, it's been thirty-one years since I last used any illicit drugs or alcohol. To be allowed to proclaim this means, I've bucked the odds for quite some considerable time now.

I am entirely comfortable crediting the dramatic turn of events in my life to God; while at the same time, I am delighted to assert; for the most part I don't know what that "means.." I began an exploration of some form of "relationship" with "a Power greater than myself..." out of desperation. Generally I feel happy and grateful that the quality of my life, just continues to be more satisfying; while I exercise continued curiosity, passion, intrigue and surrender,  (and sometimes unbridled rage and exasperation) to that which I call God.

Within this continued "quest," it isn't required that I "define," prove the existence of, engage in debate, adopt anyone else's understanding, dogma or belief system, about God.

This is relationship that is reconnecting me to my heart. As such it seems only fitting to me that this restoration is for the purpose of giving my heart to the relationship. Not out of obligation, guilt, shame or as some sort of bargaining chip; the determining factor, is the joy of a heart returned to a connection with its source.

A wandering heart that finds itself at last, "at home.." need not question further its belonging nor argue for its purpose ... it just needs to continue being (at home).

I enjoy both a continued exploration into my self and through that, "God" and freedom from the need to try and convince anyone of God's existence, the nature of that God, or how they must conduct themselves in relation to that God.

If peace is one of the consequences of a connection with God - I certainly question any that feel it necessary to force feed anyone else, their version of God. If one has attained this state of peace - why would there be a need to convince anyone else of the ways, means and path to that peace. Just be, at peace. Allow the peace of God to speak for itself. To me if someone is intent on convincing me of the truth of their path - the fact they need my affirmation of that, suggests to me they are not convinced and secure with what they are espousing.

Faith, trust, love, forgiveness. I am growing in my willingness to choose and practice these ways of being. I don't hold myself as perfect, that I hold this vision for myself. I try not to chastise myself that I don't always embody perfect attainment of these qualities. I don't excuse myself as being "only human" when I miss the mark. I'm committed to the ongoing discovery of the best possible version of myself.

I still consider myself to be on a "spiritual" path. I would no longer state that all those that are members of a particular faith path are then "religious" and need be cast aside with the bathwater. There are most certainly those that are deeply "spiritual" that attend regular "mainstream" religious gatherings. Even those that in this moment don't "appear" to be conducting themselves in accordance with the tenants of their religion - who's to say that current behaviour, isn't part of the path to their "awakening." All beings are far more vast than any in the moment snapshot I can glean when I happen to look their way.

I find myself in churches with relative frequency. Sometimes for a short interlude of prayer/contemplation in the midst of a day. I don't consider myself religious. I am drawn to find the truth within the teachings of Jesus - I'm also equally drawn to the teaching found through nature (which I incidentally believe to have been utilized by Jesus himself and Francis of Assisi).

Just last weekend I attended a Taize (singing/chant) gathering - Christian in it's orientation, a circle rooted in Sufi mysticism and a fire circle facilitated by a First Nations elder on a mountain which is part of the traditional lands of the peoples of the valley.

The richness I experienced in terms of the presence of the sacred, heart connection, community/fellowship in each of these gathering and collectively, was truly soul-quenching. I find no reason to exclude any one path, in favour of the others. In fact, my heart yearns for the inclusion of all peoples under one roof; a universal collective - where all are honoured, nobody is left on the outside, each contributes the pearls of their own wisdom and experience - everyone leaves deeply enriched and enlivened.

I'm not even remotely interested in hearing this vision is "unrealistic.." I choose to deal in what is possible. I choose to uphold that which I glean from history's great teachers, leaders, sages. I don't claim that I have entirely overcome myself - which continues to challenge me, to live into the vision that drives me. I simply don't have the heart to leave anyone in the cold. Or alternatively perhaps it could be said I have the heart that values and embraces inclusion.

What do the opening references to numbers have to do with where this post ultimately meandered? Maybe nothing, if direct correlation is your defining criteria. However if one considers that whatever the initial spark of an "idea" was, that it is the launch pad/portal to my written exploration of the mystery - then perhaps you can enjoy the surprises, of the journey as much as I do when I'm writing them.

If not, well thanks for coming by anyway! Please come again!

Thursday, 8 March 2018

Our Humanity

On this day
Honouring Women
I consider
My tribute
By categorically
A personal
Of misconceptions
Such as:

"Women's Issues"
"Women's problems"

That which
Impacts women
Lie squarely 
At the feet
Of all humanity
As the gauntlet
Of challenge

My brothers
Cannot absolve
Of responsibility
With damning semantics

We all 
(Men & women)
In "this" together
If ever 
There were
A compelling mandate
A call to 
(Open) arms
For a sacred
Healing covenant
I suggest 
The time is nigh

Skeptics alike
I will 
Both acknowledge
The need for
The continuance
Of my own 

While circumstances
Affirm to me
I am not alone

Learn to listen
Close your mouth
And open your hearts
If you're 
In this world
You have been 
While you continue
In peer sanctioned
You continue 
To have 
An impact

On this day
My commitment
Is a renewed
To a deep
And thorough
Therapeutic process
That I may be
Fully & authentically
To myself
And those
In my life

At this time
This season of
Death, resurrection/rebirth
I will 
Hold myself 
For myself

My gift then
The promise
Of personal transformation
While others
Are granted the
And dignity
Of their own

R. O'Neill (March 08, 2018)